Forget Sam I am. How about Twitter Spam I am?

Posted: October 8, 2009 in 2.0
Tags: , , ,

Spam I am.

I am Spam.

Spam I am.

That Spam-I-am!

That Spam-I-am!

I do not like that Spam-I-am!

Do you like my twitter spam?

I do not like your twitter spam.

I do not like them, Spam-I-am!

Would you like teeth whitening links?

I would not like them, your profile stinks!

I do not like your twitter Spam.

I do not like them, Spam-I-am!

Would you like make money schemes?

Would you like our realty teams?

I do not want make money schemes,

Or stupid, vapid realty teams,

I do not like teeth whitening links,

I really think your profile stinks,

I do not like your twitter Spam.

I do not like them, Spam-I-am!

Would you like them with some porn?

Would you like moonfruit every morn?

I do not like them with some porn,

I’m sneering at you now with scorn,

I do not want make money schemes,

Or stupid, vapid realty teams,

I do not like teeth whitening links,

I really think your profile stinks,

I do not like your twitter Spam.

I do not like them, Spam-I-am!

Links that make your computer crash?

To Nigeria, please wire some cash?

Not  with an OS crash,

Your head I’d like to bash,

Not with some porn,

Your tweets I  scorn,

Not with money schemes,

Not with realty teams,

Not with whitening links,

Your profile really stinks,

I do not like your twitter Spam.

I do not like them, Spam-I-am!

Would you, could you? With a guarantee?

Your money back, or it’s (almost) free?

Tweet them! Tweet Them! Here they are!

I would not, could not, with a guarantee,

Your snake oil supplements are not for me.

You may like them, you will see.

You may like a gift bonus Wii.

I would not, could not with a Wii,

I’m blocking you, just let me be!

I do not like them with some porn,

Your tweeting has me all forlorn,

I do not want your money schemes,

Or stupid, goofy realty teams,

I do not want tooth whitening links,

Dealing with spammers really stinks,

I do not like your twitter spam,

I do not like them, Spam-I-am!

Acai! Acai!

Would you, could you, buy some juice?

Not with a Wii, not with some juice,

I now believe your screws are loose,

I will not follow with some juice,

I will not follow, you’re obtuse!

I will not follow money schemes,

Or stupid, goofy realty teams,

I will not follow your tooth links,

I will not follow you who stinks,

I do not like your twitter spam,

I do not like them, Spam-I-am!

I block them.

You do not like them. So you say.

Click them! Click them! And you may.

Click them and you may, I say.

Spam, if you won’t leave me to my fun,

I think I will go buy a gun.

Did you say you want RTs?

Let me be, oh human feces!

I block your spam with some juice,

I block you Spam, you’re obtuse!

I block your moron money schemes,

I block your ridiculous realty teams,

I block your tooth whitening links,

I block you who of the sewer stinks!

I’m blocking all your twitter spam.

You are so lame, Spam-I-am!

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Comments
  1. Jemi Fraser says:

    I can’t stop laughing! Awesome post, Jenny! You made my evening 🙂

  2. Cat Woods says:

    I almost wet myself! Thanks for the pick me up.

  3. Belle says:

    LOL I just block all the Twitter spammers – never thought to write a poem about them! Too funny! “Would you, could you, buy some juice”. I’m still laughing!

  4. […] Forget Sam I am. How about Twitter Spam I am? « Book Binge jmartinlibrarian.wordpress.com/2009/10/08/forget-sam-i-am-how-about-twitter-spam-i-am – view page – cached October 8, 2009 at 8:31 pm (2.0) (Dr. Seuss, Spam I am, twitter, twitter — From the page […]

  5. Belle says:

    LOL I just block all the Twitter spammers – never thought to write a poem about them! Too funny! “Would you, could you, buy some juice”. I’m still laughing!
    P.S. – Sorry, forgot to tell you great post!

  6. moderndaystoryteller says:

    Genius, pure genius. Thanks for making me laugh!

  7. Carolyn Yalin says:

    Funny!

  8. Too funny! Hilarious post. 🙂

  9. Brenden says:

    That is the best poem I have heard in ages! I hope you don’t mind, I have posted it on my blog: http://www.failspam.com/i-do-not-like-you-spam-i-am/ I put up all kinds of funny spam and spam related humour.

    I linked you as my source, don’t hesitate to email if this is a problem. Thanks again for the laugh. 🙂

    Brenden

    • jmartinlibrarian says:

      That’s fine. As long as you link back to me and credit me as the source, I don’t mind at all. Glad you enjoyed the spoof!

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